walking backwards

its been a while now

i said im gonna write this to recite this

now the rain is coming down and i can only

repeat your name

even though i know for certain

you dont feel the same as me

what can I say?

I'm the sucker for closer nights

for more hugs and less fights

now i turn to you and ask

that if maybe inside you might

think that you could love me

but it's all in my head, you said, you said

baby, turn out the lights and go to bed

now I am lost spinning my wheels to drive

until I find the switch to the light

when you return i just want you to know

you are too swell to sit and weep

if the world gave me anything 

it was watching you dream in your sleep

now that your back home, it's so good to have you hear

but when the lights are out, i dissapear

im trapped inside a song, singing along

the lyrics will lead me astray 

where i know, you'll love me someday

with a picture of you

Sitting here watching the branches shake

this kind of makes me, makes me, make

the image of a future erase and recreate

decisions, decisions

I'm packing my things

I'm moving to tennessee

maybe tomorrow I'll choose to move to alaska

i will bring a few items and a picture of you

to remember the summer, to remember the dew

what i have here, I dont have here

maybe i will there, or there, or there

this is just a cradle i've rocked in far too long

same old images, same old nursey songs

and i can hum along, i can hum along

to the sound of me leaving

take a few steps forward, deep breath and smile

with a picture of you

with a picture of you

now the branches shake, i think they are waving good bye

good bye bye bye, good bye bye bye

im going to tennessee, im going to alaska

I'm going to places the future didnt expect

now im the unexpected and you're the love I knew

with a picture of you, with a picture of you

even if i dont return, remember me as a rocket

with a picture of you, i'll have home in my pocket

what, what, what

the smell of your happiness

simmers off of me like a hot summer day

and you make the lakes more welcoming

you make me feel more like i should

more than just a scientific replay

cause when my world comes crashing down

you'll put it back

and i know your not even around

just by hearing your voice I know its true

I wouldnt feel as real without you

would I be too dependent if i said

I need you so I can write a novel

would i be the fool to admit that

I'm glad you were born i love you

If i believe in no God i believe some magic is true

what, what , what, would i be without you

what, what, what would i be? a tree?

a stupid drone waiting for the next drop of food?

but you, you, you

make me feel real.

Follow the Dust

the dust makes it's way to the core
what a story you have there sir
graciously floating, life is perfectly sane
dipping naked into a pool of school fish
before you left I thought maybe the world
would give me the heart to remain still
but i watched the dust dance past me
come along, now girl, come along
the suns gravity was a bit too weak to ground
my body in motion, my thoughts all around
and i spoke not one word, my mouth seemed to run
on and on, on and on, on, on, on
the core waves it's flags, I cant understand it's face
when you're gone I find it hard to sit in place
i think the sun has decided to shift the blame on me
because this just ain't where the world should be, be, be
from where I float, it's already flooded
I've survived drowning though my blood is cold blooded
and without a sound, a blurry vision of the facts
you drift into a new world, absent from my tracks
and the dust goes girl, come along, come along
I leans on the notes and cry on the shoulder of new songs
to feel you waving, it's where you should be
as for me, I'll be there, eventually

matter of time

Not the end of the world

she says

not the end of the world

just a little taste of letting go

just a little taste of another road

more steps more names

new songs, new flames

a silent stutter on a mindless trail

I'm kinda thinking maybe this time i will sail

far from here and pop the bubble that's unpopable

nothing is unpopable, unstoppable

she says

no time to sit, not in shape enough to run

i think ill have me another look 

above the wooden wheel I've spun

a great dream made by a great dream fulfilled

your foot prints keep my proud but still

i know the tracks of you, this will

leave you hungry for more and in my bed, never again

have you lay comfortably upon it the same

not the same 

its not the same

if i am left behind some day i will catch up

but dont wait for me, you've made it far enough

far enough to not look back, to say i love you, or wave

i understand ill see you again some day

we wont be the same, no, we wont be the same

but tell me your story honey

ill tell you mine

smooth sailing, smooth sailing

in a matter of time, time, time

Adam

the fog warms the mountains

it is the morning i came to see you

found you smiling in the middle of an unknown

where i knew i loved you

surrounded by valleys and dead end train tracks

you finally feel you belong

a time line you are creating

a new tale for a new song

and there is no one in this world more proud

to tell the tale of you, like i do

no more proud to know a dream catcher

that you've become

now i sit in my repeated life

whisteling tunes that might convince me to go

but without you, i dont think id know

how to follow a star, or find my heart if its not there

i'll take the frequent fogs, simple hellos and good byes

because if life has no definition

you are life in my eyes

and if God made it so hard to believe

that heaven is right where you stand

i understand, why you cant

repeat the footprints you've circled more than once

now you are a drifting boat

on an uncertain stream

and to you this is what life means

though i may not see, the things you see

I will remember the sky

the subtle wind that put that look in your eye

you were happy to see me, that's all i could need

there may not be a definition

but you are life to me.

Reason.

I've dreamt of higher places

then I realized

the only time you are in higher places

is when it is in your own head

so the world must be an illusion

a sneaky rendering of a fiery pit

an abstract painting painted by an insane man

who seems to be sane after-all

our senses are but nature

a veiny river that co-signs for our existence 

our reasons are reasoned

only unjustified and saturated 

we sleep to remember

we dream to forget

the un-settling sounds of the hell we've created

taking chemistry by the mouth to ease the pain

only to feel it again

because it takes you to higher places

because you can't make it alone

because you refuse to make it alone

come to reason with reason

i've finally realized that higher places are what we make of them

created by our senses, absorbed by our thoughts

carefully constructed, unintentionally hard to reach 

because we all want what we don't have, can't touch

how I once denied our intelligence 

we are intelligent after-all,

intelligent for our ignorance