My Country Song, Sing-a-Long

Blink, blink, blink

inside of you i see

the world and what it should be, and

im there

singing a long with your favorite songs

la, la, la, la, la

and if i shall die

i pray for the radio to play

the same songs, ill sing a long

la, la,la,la,la

as im fading into my last thought

i just want to think of you i just want to

bury my dreams into you,  and if you think

im crazy or out of the norm

you know me enough to know that

I make you smile and I make you blush

and if the world don't know nothing about us

then

what do they know about love?

what do they know?

about your favorite songs? it must be absurd 

i know every word

i know you i know

i love you

and if i die i hope i prove them wrong

i hope the radio plays every song

and i'll sing along

la,la,la,la,la

you know i love you

Your Aperture

Here, where it was open for long exposure 

a build of such thick sheets of fog over the hills have

such desire to be captured in the night

here swings the golden swoon, you shook me

filled me with soft pedals and spotted stems

several days I was drifting in what I believe

was a heaven, your voice bellowed

until it shook the graves down below

in the morning the sun spread out to greet

us, you widened your desire to capture it's reach

and the leaves rattled and battled to be first to fall

I questioned the reality of it all, could it be

The wind hollowed my bones and drifted me

toward a moving front full of

weathered seeds from back home to drop and grow

genuine speckles of color, it's the most beautiful sight

ive ever seen, could it be?

this place i stand smiling holds

a stretch of  autumn, but before too long

the snow will come with it's own song

these beautiful leaves will be gone

still the river, it races to a mapless destination

flowing on a gut feeling

wishing the fog will be settling up ahead

nestle my intentions back into a tree

mold my bark to read, you have

gotten the best out of my palms and i said

I would have grown more branches

if the feeling was not quite right

for the perfect light, i would have opened myself wide

i would have

gone further down the fiery road if you told

me, nothing would be if nothing could be

by the arch of the horizon, i know your logic

fell deep into a trance and i dance on top

stomping my toes into the truth

its your first intention and its loose

falling freely into a well of giants

hungry for failure and silence

with your permission, I'll swallow each seed, then

you could fill me again with soft pedals

and spotted stems

cause it's my intentions that stroke the skies

admiring your eyes that capture such light

if I'm wrong then the rivers will slow

their pace, and I'll go 

for the winer, let the snow cover my leaves

and believe i was in heaven

when the thick fog clouded my eyes

in the rattle of your bellowing, for once

i was alive, excuse the giants pounding their chest for more

if thats your cure, let it be and I'll sure

the flattened plains that spring will come

you'll open your desire and capture the sun

and please in the rain, find yourself looking over the moon

i just hope youre thinking of me when I' m thinking of you

i'll know then, when I turn spotted and pruned

you'll be back soon

Holes

My hands are red, full of blood

Pacing in circles, shouting and singing

Here is the place i found myself escaping

Carving my name into a tree

Here is the place that imprisoned me

We are ghosts of those songs

we heard long, long ago

and you know, it may be sad

but it wasnt all so bad

The weeds they grow fast, cover

every square mile of your soul

but it fills the many holes

and the sun showed itself

long enough for the rain to wait there

slowly become vapors

and the song played on repeat

singing, la la lalala what it is to love

is to find yourself constantly digging

for the bones of where it all began

la la lalala what it is to love

is to dig searching for a friend

and la la lalala what it is to love

is to admire every beautiful view

even if we set fire to this place

These holes I dug were searching for you

Unpromising Seeds

Find a little hole in the ground

scatter around, unpromising seeds

hoping maybe, one of some will agree with me

and spread a little life my way

now is not the time and it's not the place

to sit and fill my mouth with such awful taste

run my fingers down the lines of sanded wood

knowing i should and i could

trace the lines that lead to the truth

to the furthest root, covered in dirt

wait for the rain to clear then drain my shirt

wave my hands in the sky once and fold

i've never done what i'm told and i'm told

to let nature do as it will, let it be, trace your words

sing each song a little lower than the birds

because they understand how the world works

and i've learned, even if your water is loyal

seeds, they dont grow in forced soil 

and they don't grow if you ask them to grow

they won't grow, no, no no

Gray and Tomorrow

Some where the gray in the sky

stumbled upon the door step of the sun

Questioning why when it appears 

everyone hides inside

As the pedals wash off of every flower

they spiral around the evening fog

dancing while they can, before they land

and it's about time the weather

perks up a little fun without the sun

as we watch the cars on the roads

flash their brights like Christmas lights

communicating with the stars

reminding them that we are made 

of the same stuff they are

here it's not so different, we burn

glow for a while, then fade off

Life is just a word to explain

what we know nothing of

but we can laugh and we can dance

Like the pedals in the fog

With no control of the wind

we just land where we stop

and the shaking of the trees become

music, hitting perfect notes 

in sync with the ocean sinking local boats

still it's okay, the gravity promises another day

and we continue on, dear gray, we continue on

so it's good when you come around here

cause down below

you shake, shake, shake it up and then you go

and we could all use a little shaken, yea it's all we

need to remind us that the sun will shine again

now we can dance, dance, dance until then

My Room, The Garden

An empty space full of

useless objects, it hits fast

flew in through the window and I

felt fright breathing down my back

pressing on my chest and the crops in the garden

reach further and further into the ground

where life is sound, warm and moist

full of the kind of life I admired

unaware, just there, existing

no morals or words to pray

just waiting to be useful someday

living in one place

i dig my feet into the sheets

wrap myself up tight and believe

I can fight this disease I can

Cover myself in soil and just reach

closer to where dreams are free

where fright can't find me

where only living matters, i will

pretend this bed is my garden, tonight I

will be the place so warm and moist and pray

Pray i'll be useful someday

above me there's a story written

with white words on white paper, it reads aloud

"Be patient child, you'll figure it out"

I am a seed, waiting, in the palm of my mind

to be carried away by the wind and buried

deep beneath the lies this life leads

and before the wind let's me go where ever it is I end up

before the sun peaks, before I land, I will pray

Pray I'll be useful someday

In Flight

Look hard at the reflection on the door knob

my face is like a million paintings I've seen before

I am the silent gesture that fills your mind with hope

In the deepest and darkest weather

As you lay watching the moon

Cut two pieces of the sea

It gives half to you and half to me

I promise ill remember

When the sun lets go of what was spinning

I felt that way as i was leaving 

and you found

Without gravity there is no ground

As long as the world keeps turning

We'll still be burning

Here is where I learned 

I could be weightless after all

because when I let the clouds loosen up

No one was there to break my fall

So here I am

Between the past and tomorrow

Smiling as the door knob shakes my hand 

It smiles back,  I understand

Love is only frightening when you don't know how to land

If there is a God, I swear.

Make my way down the avenue of solid opinions

I've got so much more to look forward to

and the visitors took photographs

nailed them to their walls

had a hard time believing

there was such a place so involved

in searching for everything and anything but gold

and here is where you told

me,

that,

nothing is worth living unless, it's worth anything at all

and thats when I knew

I knew I loved you

I stare at the moon waiting

for that moment to fight for the dreams

cause the blood in my veins, it seems

is just your type

it's your type and I feel

their might not be a God up there somewhere

but I'll face myself soon enough

and I know if there is I swear

You are going to love me

you are going to love me

cause I prayed for you to come home

and you are going to love me

if hope is the last thing, I own

You are going to love me

and I know most of all

cause you said, nothing is worth living unless, it's worth anything at all

you know I'm worth it,

you'll know it when you find

Photographs on the walls of strangers

of me, in the rain, spelling your name

with a simple tool of a smile, a reason to live

I know you'll be back when the rain clears

their might not be a God up there somewhere

but I'll face myself soon enough

and I know if there is I swear

You are going to love me

You are going to love me

cause I prayed for you to come home

and you are going to love me

if hope is the last thing, I own

Flightless and Webbed

Clear, solid, fragile

Subtle movements engage me

I'm strung

and the spiders they watch

as I wiggle, I try, I try

breathe in the silence, say my name

Far from the city I still feel the rust

in my veins I can taste it, hear it

breathing on my skin, spinning

torture, soft, pleasing

unwrapping the romance of a failure

Call me in advance lay low and sing

'watch the spiders, watch the spiders

spin a web and catch yourself

cause I'm falling, flightless, weightless

watching the universe curl, I

crawl up to you, pucker my lips

today I exist because you exist

today I live for this

I am a stone

It's the world, not you

the nature, the build

structures, no explanation 

just fact

a stone in the water

will sink

and a stone that floats

is not a stone

i am a stone

i am a stone

i am a stone

you are the water

and i am sinking

but we tried

yeah, we tried

that only proves that we are human.

We Froze

Found my way into a dream

I found you finding me

an ocean without a wave, we stayed

floating above the hungry creatures below

with your hand in mine

there existed no days, no time

and the world stood still

I captured your smile with a smile of my own

I was getting so used to being alone

then you found your way into a dream too

found me, finding you

just in time to watch the silence

wrapped in the busiest concrete cell

I loved you well, I loved you

far beyond the city limits, beyond all the songs I know

We were written for that moment and we froze

no ground below, or photographs to show

such a spectacular view, beautiful, like you

at the same time, I cried, and we won

We became the setting sun

Then we became the end of yesterday

It is today, the still ocean begins to wave

I fail recognize your face and your words

sting my ears, speaking how I've made you ill

and the world stopped standing still.

Deep Blue.

Withering little flower

Dance for the sun

over the mountain tops of white wont you

reach for the light and i will

at some time, before the sun hides

make you mine

if it's true

then I know the deep blue

in your eyes

say it is fact that

i guess it is true

i like you

Withering little flower

Paint the ground this autumn

and come spring

if you reach for the light I will

at some time before the sun hides

make you mine

This time I swear our stars wont fade

Our dreams will project and I will

so help me god, believe in you

each taste will be promising 

deep blue, my deep blue

How and Ways

How do I find ways?

I don't.

I cant find ways

but ways that I can find how

I can try

because ways are suggestions

How is louder, factual, certain

I know How

and How tells me ways

to find out how

Until We Are Weightless

I've decide that we are unconditionally undecided

There is no sun bright enough until there is no sun at all

it's not dark enough because the stars keep you dreaming in color

and the city lights from your bedroom window

make us forget the night exists 

and your sheets...

with you wrapped up in them...

make me forget that we both know where we've been.

We plan to leave the concrete in construction sites and dream

that there's a piece of me that builds a ship with a list

of how to become weightless

but tonight

the light from your window shows you're just right

the perfect picture of a perfect life

now I find hidden in my slightly pleased grin, it hard to believe

you'd ever want to leave

So I've decide that we are unconditionally undecided

here the dark, the light, the blue skies and the night

will compare and contrast as long as we exist

your heart will stop just to beat again, and your touch

will save me over, and over again

until we become weightless.

The very bottom

Final scenes on the screen

whispering, here we go again

You gave me a verse well rehersed

full of time sensitive words

then you turned away

gave me silence as a gift

a reason to forget

and how I slammed the door

as you walked right out

the words out my mouth 

spoke nothing worth a damn

The clouds cried themselves to sleep

blaming me and I shut it out

For the sake of shutting it out

I shut you out, promised not to cry

I never forgot the time you said

you're afraid to die and here I lay

on the cold wood floor mumbling more

wishing it was...possible

That i'd take your silence as a gift

well, I let the clouds believe they needed to cry 

gave me a reason to stay inside

for as long as you're gone the sun wont evaporate

the flood I let drown this damn place

I've lost the race, I am your face

I am so fucking sorry this passion is too late

and you wont come back you wont...

stand to watch me die

so I'll toss these sorry keys

stay locked inside knowing I will sometime realize

it was so much better for you outside

it was always so much better for you outside.

The Sun Needs A Break

The sun made it's way to the end of the world

It held a torch, it said, I'm glowing, I'm going, I'm gone

I tried to just smile and say everything is okay

but the dark isn't anything worth looking forward to

you can't sleep forever, you can't dream forever

but the suns worked hard enough and ya know,

everything needs a break sometime, sometime we all need to die

So I grabbed your arm and I kissed your mouth

We walked down each avenue blabbing about

The things we could of done to save this place

Now we drift through these days

Pressing buttons and wait

for moments that will find us all leaving

to follow the sun, before we drown everything

Our conversations have a heart beat

But I can't breathe with these words in my mouth

so you asked me to speak out loud

I could try, you could try, we could laugh, we could cry

until there is no one, until there is nothing

for this noise to echo off of because

Still, the sun will be gone, on its way

So I try to just smile and say everything is okay.

A gate and a road.

There's a gate

found floating in the middle of your room

there's a place out there

much more suitable for you

here your sheets feel soft, just fine

but not divine

and I'm left to wonder

what big dreams you have

will they fill your shoes with dirt?

or numbers?

I have rose from a ghost

filling the ceiling with uncertainty 

and if you feel it too please let me know

how long that gate will proceed to show

how long will my invitation linger as questioned?

if it is questioned let it go, if it is a question let me know

In your room, there is no room for ghosts

so drink a cup of answers and sooth your mind

If you want to be seen, be seen divine

it's a simple remedy for an uncertain way to grow old 

I'm your little rest stop on the longest, loneliest road

and you are the changing colors is my fallen autumn leaves,

but honestly, honey, you're murdering me. 

Simple Machines

Life

created simply

to be

questionable.

what existence can define

is what's yours

is also mine

and what is valued

is useless

when death is ahead.

A seed

A  circle

fed over and over

to create

a future

green, red, dead

we will all die

and memory is a flaw

in the design of mankind

it is the design of mankind

that we wonder and discover

reasons for reasons

cause and effect

but it will all end with death

and begin with the very first breath

till there remains, nothing left 

of us.

The Silent Mechanic

A Calling to American Culture

Go on and build those dreams with every breath you have left and take each step as if the crust would suck you down in. Listen to the songs of the angels we made up as children who taught us to rhyme with riddles and laugh with the well-needed jokes left in the smoky skies that were waving good-bye. 

Go on and build all of those mini-malls full of useless novelty when really we die with the regrets of never having a life at all. No monument for your success, no shiny new watch can tell you when it is your time to go. but they will dance to the electronic music machine like the dead will rise again, meanwhile plant those seeds that gave you the vitamins you desired. Aren’t you tired?

Go on and wave those guns in the sky through the polluted pride guided by a simple marching band that cleverly misguides our hearts to and through war. Go on and wave those flags of filthy polyester and claim the name that claims to be so divine, so divine, so full of freedom and swine. What a farm we live upon, a concrete farm and we are missing the best part of it all.

Go on and become the cover of every magazine in the isle of every commercial building full of the cheapest self fulfillment. Swipe that plastic fortune and be proud of yourself for that embossed name you got there. oh, you must feel so accomplished, so independent, so in control but no, no no no, you’ve sold your soul unintentionally long ago to prove to the world you could grow up and drown yourself in the debt that only exists in our mind like heaven exists to those scared of dieing.

Go on and fill your mouth with sneaky insults and alcohol to escape the dreams you were too weak to create. God must have thought twice. One was a great idea the second was of the mistake of making himself known long long ago. Who would have thought the light was so easy to take? A miracle cure of an illness that reflects in every reflective object. We are everything we love, we are everything we hate, we are everything life and death creates. Go on and disbelieve me and diagnose me with every psychological disability, but I know what it means to be free, to be truly free.

So go on and take it, then leave it. Let the artificial success spit down the throats of your children and their children and mold those brains into tiny machines to trust that politics know best as they put tax on each breath. Go on and call me crazy, they’ve swallowed all of the halos we had left. they promise a better future, they dance in the nicest weather, but how do you put confidence on a structure built in total silence? blindness? a superficial gesture that gathers the pastures into the electrical fence when the storm peaks over the hills, swallow those pills children and begin to write the nursery rhymes your DNA will carry on. Go on, go on, go on…go where you are lead.

June 14th.

I missed you today

holding your hand, laying my head in your comfort

and the world took me back like some sort of time machine

the sky is dark, and im cuffed in your arms

today seemed like a day that never ends

it will repeat, and repeat again

and yesterday made so much sense it seems

i kinda miss you and me

i kinda miss not being alone

a place in my head to call home

and we were a weapon much stronger

than any war could use and i miss you

suddenly, now, when everything strips away

i travel back to a thoughtless place

where love built us a dam in a day

and for fun we'd knock it down and watch it all drain away

now the moon travels the other direction

it no longer races me to your room

suddenly, I miss you

calls

on the drive

the sky

looked like a flashlight looking through soapy water

i thought of you

I thought a lot

and the drive seemed to end too soon

and now I'm sitting alone

having a drink, by the phone

and if you finally decide to call

will i answer to talk, will i....

have another drink

sing a couple tunes and continue

thinking of you

how mature I must seem

real life is my responsibility

but instead my heart bends and folds

and do as it is told, but I'm still getting old

older than I was the day before

I just think of you more

when i don't hear a word for days

I'm amazed, how stuck I am, how glued

to you

Yet your welcoming some other land

saying a thousand hello's a day

and i sit, i sit, i sit and wait

to catch your voice just once

where has it gone?

Watch Life Grow

Sure. I'll take that as a yes.

Remove all your photographs

Find my way to some other road

Drop off this load and go

Love is only an uncertain promise 

I find, time is kind but it'll change your mind

when the world you've known stands alone

On a unpaved sidewalk and folks will ride past

Flash old photographs that'll make you laugh

make you sad, make you mad, make you think

how delicate each step can be and

that's when you'll think of me

how i stole that last kiss when I promised you this

Love is an uncertain promise

and Life is no ones fault but your own

If love is to hard, let love go, let it go

and watch life grow.

Our dreams are our clones

There's a silent hum

inside of me

wishing to be the finish line

eager to see

what's ahead of me 

but i know it'll never be

and i sing

from above and down below

to see which breeze will capture my notes

they may not be as perfect

but good enough to hear

in one ear and if you have two, good for you

then he said

you don't have to worry about a thing

life will do as it pleases

excuses are reasons

and dreams never come true

but i feel in my bones

that we are not alone 

and our dreams, our dreams, our dreams

are our clones.

There is still this silent hum

inside of me

calling me lazy but flying high above the sea

it is looking down

laughing at the clowns

i'm mingling with the clouds

it's the best movie film

and I sing

with words that won't rhyme

I have my own gallery that lies

open in the sky

hey, take a look you see, take a look at me

Then he said

science only proves what does not exist

what is proven is funless, dreamless, pointless

because there is a world not to far from dawn

and everyone is called to march upon

colors not yet named

and they've grown, oh, how they have grown...

he said to me

our dreams, our dreams, our dreams

are our clones.

Mountains are full of sight

a cliff is a delight

a sunset, beautiful yet

has the largest life i've ever seen

and he spoke to me

he spoke to me whispering 

to spread the word that dreams do exist

if fact becomes a reason

live in your dreams and...

if you can tell them apart...

there is always a way out of the dark.

Trouble will leave you alone

and our dreams, our dreams, our dreams

are our clone.

Im a mountain

Back to the roads and traffic lights

turn signals wink, i refuse to follow

how about those clouds shaped like your smile?

i wish i could see the sun from your angle

your shadowing is beautiful

here the mountains are flat

the fog fades too fast, everything is visible, everything is not surprising

here you learn how to recycle dreams

forget antique

i rubbed the freckles on your knuckles

read them like brail and it told me

you'll be coming home soon

and home is nothing like the view you've described

nothing is a surprise

so I'm making myself into a mountain while you are gone

i'll stand outside your window, beside the trees

steal the fog and wrap it around me

i'll do my best to make you happy

to make home worth waking up from a dream

i've not seen the things you've seen

but i've dreamt the same dreams you've dreamed

i just couldnt lift the anchor from my feet, but i know

you've fed me the strength to grow

and soon you'll be coming back home

i'm a mountain, oh i'm a mountain

covered in the greenest trees

providing the clearest streams

come home to me

Opening doors

i'd like to stand in place but anchors are not promising

like the stars on a cloudy night peaking through

brighter than any war this planet could create 

i will call you eventually when the signal picks up

there's a train leaving at half past two

going where dreams get sucked up through vacuums

there is a woman next to me she says

friends are never friends until they've seen the devil in you

so i guess I will never have friends again

Im always changing my mind finding bigger words

in bigger books i don't intend on finishing

and right is right and wrong is wrong

but the world must mean something if I keep singing this song

where I am completely alone and someone sings along

then i ask myself why so many people are alone

we are all made of the same flesh and bones

i will tell you my story if you tell me yours

keep opening doors.

What a life to belong to.

Here comes the picture

clear as day it speaks in perfect lighting

and i lay in the grass watching the sky transform

into a few faces i find unfamiliar

so i give them all names, it was so nice to meet you

falling deeper into that note i failed to hit as a child

the sparrow flies above waving in love

a drunken, terrible, horrible dream

not to come true until the days forget to move on

what a song, what a song to be trapped upon

what a wonderful ground to be glued 

what a life, what a beautiful life to belong to

and the fire will torch every object held dear

let go says the message, just let go and be free

freer than any degree of education

it is time to fly while your bones are hollow

a shell is for the frightened trapped in shoe box

with holes punched in the top allowing oxygen to sneak in

but i believe 

with all of the tiny cells in my body

there is more out there then a list of do's and don'ts

can't do and wont's

there is a station with tracks on every thought 

waiting for you since the day you were born

life moves along like the clouds change form

do you realize you are made of the same elements as a storm?

So, why are you so afraid of the thunder? It is only reminding you that you're here

we belong where we are and no place too far is too far

and I sing, I sing to you with every note i can reach

what a song, what a song to be trapped upon

what a wonderful ground to be glued 

what a life, what a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful life to belong to.

Call it a night.

There is a place in the dark of the day

where I find my words slipping, slipping away

and you call to me asking how was today

said I followed a stranger to 5th avenue

to find out his story but it's nothing quite new

and i think of your stories and places you've been

i swallow each word, its not my life but i'll pretend

so i sing out a tune by a band I dont know

i make up the lyrics just to have my own show

watch the leaves in the stream make their way out of sight

I should fight, I should fight but I'll call it a night

pick up and dial let it ring twice then cave in

head to the fridge for another brew to drink and

i will lay on the edge of the bed, call out your name

honestly I am never the one to complain

but my head is full of too many empty to do's

all I have room for is a bunch of i miss you's

No huge mountain , or valley, or ancient ruin 

can do to me what you do to me and

I will give up the world to be by your side each night

just to keep you near, then I'll fight, ya I'll fight.

Shake this town

A slow paced train on the tracks

making the echos shake the town

in the night of the sixteenth hour

i smell your scent tease my heart

and it follows me around

i stumble to the bed and lay on my back

watch the shadows paint the ceiling geometric

i write your name in the air with my finger

it'll show if i ask it to

close my eyes and it is autumn

the leaves are falling and you're sitting across from me

leaning back enjoying the view, and you

smile back at me, holding my hand

this is not a dream you say, this is

a dream come true and you

hold your finger in the air and write my name

say, it'll show if i ask it to

the world meets complete

all emotions piece together and i open my eyes

geometric meets the tracks

shake this town, keep shaking this town

5'o clock news

I stood on the corner of broad and 16th today

watched the movement of each soul

captured as many faces as i could and wondered

if any of them watch the 5'o clock news

or find comfort in the sound of public blues

how many of them are happy?

how many of them have souless shoes?

and every traffic lights a liar

every stop sign strapped in weapons

i feel like im standing in war

with no armor on, no uniform to present

but no one is watching, no shooting

and the traffic makes more cries than the soldiers

hiking through 2 white lines

there is a man down on the corner

begging to not be left behind

a little girl passes by and blind to the blood

he shed in a cup and i capture myself in a reflection

of the luggage shop window

with a uniform on and a gun in my hand

and im ready for battle, im covered in blood

im on the 5 'o clock news

waving my hand to see if it's really me

but no one stops in shock

no cries of terror, no fights to fight

and im not alone, standing in souless shoes

a flat dark place surrounded by blocks and blocks

of soldiers all making their way to their stations

5 o' clock news reports

there is for once, no bad news today

but the good news is, it says to me, the good news

I am not alone, we are not alone

the world is not alone today

the good news is, there is no bad news to report

and i feel so glad to be alive.

For Now.

Now I sink into a bed of thoughts and drift away into the lost of final moments i gave my heart to someone far away.

Now I hum the slightest tune of all the notes you watched them bloom and cuddle with the softest room of oxygen and dust.

The days I long to hold you tight catch your dreams and fight your fights and feed your brain with all thats right and i know i will someday soon

For now you are some kind of far away and nestled in the quietest place where you belong for the night, you teach me all that's right.

Beating hearts

Tonight the sheets feel like an electric wave

it glides up my legs into my mind

where i find myself constantly thinking about where you might be

without me

i toss and turn until i lift myself up

into the night so i drive and i drive

because only in moments like these we feel alive

only moments like these, I..stop

to ask myself your name and spell it three times

can i say it, can i say it, can i...

stop thinking about you for just one moment?

how i envy those who are not distracted by beating hearts

because i am far from sane, and i am

far from you, today

i have this little habit of taking a drive

and i drive, and i drive

until i come back a little less blue

with souvenirs and a new set of sheets

and i will finally spell your name without a tear to smudge the ink

but ive hidden the keys for now, left an empty tank

i've seen a new world and i have you to thank

Tonight feels like the perfect movie

for the perfect song to move me along and jitter my bones

to beating hearts, beating hearts, beating hearts

where I know for certain, you keep mine beating strong.

Blooming

Fine as the water can fill the hole

ive felt this before i know, i know

that silence is matter and mass is the tears

i let slip through my fingers

you are away you are happier there

i hold on to something im not sure it is here

but something about something

there is a town i could find

with a little light on, a little light on

but music is guiding and its hard to leave

when most songs i hear remind me, of

everything beautiful and everything kind

a wishful amusement a comforting sign

that flowers do bloom

in the light of the sun

when tonight will come shining

because the hard day is done

planted

Dug a hole. Buried a seed, maybe two. watched it drink. watched it grow. and with little vocabulary. I learned what life was.

Dream Catcher

Here a dark night is rare

but i still, wish

i could be feeling your words

watching you talk wish i could be

the dark night over you

helping you sleep at night

your comfort dream catcher

like a tool you need to survive

stuff me in your sack and keep me dry

carry me to the top of every mountain on the east coast

and i will

protect you from the outside world

i will protect you from doubt and shame

when love meets no boundries

i hope you cross every boundry you can

and if you allow me to

ill live every adventure through you

happily your comfort dream catcher

how to prove.

the day is gone, the sun has set the alarm

now i wait for the next cloud to sing

happy birthday

they scream instead of sing

and i swear little by little hell is whispering

go back to bed

but the sheets cover my head

blocking the light through the window

im sheltered but i can still feel the wind blow

far from the places i dreamt

would be perfect, but perfect is a myth

a full heart is a wise heart

they said, learn to live with it

so the blood in my veins run thin full of asprine

and alcohol, to watch my tears fall

splashing into the shapes of animals and sky scrappers

the clock has changed but it is later, later than..

a reason to do what i can to fill my mind up with optimism

because anything would be reason worth living

but it is hard to see anything when nothing fills the mold

if there is nothing then the word alone is something to hold

aint it? cant it be true?

happiness is just a thought away they say

just think about it and it'll be easier than you think

but my boats, i build , i build them to watch them sink

so some time past my time an explorer can find

what i meant, what i was meant for

for sure. optimism set in. im happy again.

but the wind is still cold and the clouds, they still scream

now i dont want to wake up

i know, ill open my eyes and have to do it all over

pretend there is luck in four leaf clovers

send my prayers to the sky when man made prayer

like screaming in the middle of nowhere

itll only cause an avalanch and you tell me to be rational

but rational seems to be a bit more insane than me

to believe the bullshit written on the walls of D.C

democracy, try humanity and resting on the thought that

we will never undo to others

as they do undo to you

but i was thinking that maybe the world is drunk

I'm just sleeping on a rock in the middle of muck

slowly sliding off a mountain and ill catch my breath 

wake up to real sunlight

finally admit you were right

but the clouds are still not singing

happy birthday, happy birthday to me

so they scream, this..is not..a dream

this..is not a dream

and this is not..a dream

but i know somehow, ill prove to you

i can do unto you

what a wise heart is meant to do

prove that life is more than a law

a guide line to be moral

that love is more than just a word

because there is more to a nest than the birds

i could hold my breath until my face turns blue

to prove that this is how i know

i love you.

walking backwards

its been a while now

i said im gonna write this to recite this

now the rain is coming down and i can only

repeat your name

even though i know for certain

you dont feel the same as me

what can I say?

I'm the sucker for closer nights

for more hugs and less fights

now i turn to you and ask

that if maybe inside you might

think that you could love me

but it's all in my head, you said, you said

baby, turn out the lights and go to bed

now I am lost spinning my wheels to drive

until I find the switch to the light

when you return i just want you to know

you are too swell to sit and weep

if the world gave me anything 

it was watching you dream in your sleep

now that your back home, it's so good to have you hear

but when the lights are out, i dissapear

im trapped inside a song, singing along

the lyrics will lead me astray 

where i know, you'll love me someday

with a picture of you

Sitting here watching the branches shake

this kind of makes me, makes me, make

the image of a future erase and recreate

decisions, decisions

I'm packing my things

I'm moving to tennessee

maybe tomorrow I'll choose to move to alaska

i will bring a few items and a picture of you

to remember the summer, to remember the dew

what i have here, I dont have here

maybe i will there, or there, or there

this is just a cradle i've rocked in far too long

same old images, same old nursey songs

and i can hum along, i can hum along

to the sound of me leaving

take a few steps forward, deep breath and smile

with a picture of you

with a picture of you

now the branches shake, i think they are waving good bye

good bye bye bye, good bye bye bye

im going to tennessee, im going to alaska

I'm going to places the future didnt expect

now im the unexpected and you're the love I knew

with a picture of you, with a picture of you

even if i dont return, remember me as a rocket

with a picture of you, i'll have home in my pocket

what, what, what

the smell of your happiness

simmers off of me like a hot summer day

and you make the lakes more welcoming

you make me feel more like i should

more than just a scientific replay

cause when my world comes crashing down

you'll put it back

and i know your not even around

just by hearing your voice I know its true

I wouldnt feel as real without you

would I be too dependent if i said

I need you so I can write a novel

would i be the fool to admit that

I'm glad you were born i love you

If i believe in no God i believe some magic is true

what, what , what, would i be without you

what, what, what would i be? a tree?

a stupid drone waiting for the next drop of food?

but you, you, you

make me feel real.

Follow the Dust

the dust makes it's way to the core
what a story you have there sir
graciously floating, life is perfectly sane
dipping naked into a pool of school fish
before you left I thought maybe the world
would give me the heart to remain still
but i watched the dust dance past me
come along, now girl, come along
the suns gravity was a bit too weak to ground
my body in motion, my thoughts all around
and i spoke not one word, my mouth seemed to run
on and on, on and on, on, on, on
the core waves it's flags, I cant understand it's face
when you're gone I find it hard to sit in place
i think the sun has decided to shift the blame on me
because this just ain't where the world should be, be, be
from where I float, it's already flooded
I've survived drowning though my blood is cold blooded
and without a sound, a blurry vision of the facts
you drift into a new world, absent from my tracks
and the dust goes girl, come along, come along
I leans on the notes and cry on the shoulder of new songs
to feel you waving, it's where you should be
as for me, I'll be there, eventually

matter of time

Not the end of the world

she says

not the end of the world

just a little taste of letting go

just a little taste of another road

more steps more names

new songs, new flames

a silent stutter on a mindless trail

I'm kinda thinking maybe this time i will sail

far from here and pop the bubble that's unpopable

nothing is unpopable, unstoppable

she says

no time to sit, not in shape enough to run

i think ill have me another look 

above the wooden wheel I've spun

a great dream made by a great dream fulfilled

your foot prints keep my proud but still

i know the tracks of you, this will

leave you hungry for more and in my bed, never again

have you lay comfortably upon it the same

not the same 

its not the same

if i am left behind some day i will catch up

but dont wait for me, you've made it far enough

far enough to not look back, to say i love you, or wave

i understand ill see you again some day

we wont be the same, no, we wont be the same

but tell me your story honey

ill tell you mine

smooth sailing, smooth sailing

in a matter of time, time, time

Adam

the fog warms the mountains

it is the morning i came to see you

found you smiling in the middle of an unknown

where i knew i loved you

surrounded by valleys and dead end train tracks

you finally feel you belong

a time line you are creating

a new tale for a new song

and there is no one in this world more proud

to tell the tale of you, like i do

no more proud to know a dream catcher

that you've become

now i sit in my repeated life

whisteling tunes that might convince me to go

but without you, i dont think id know

how to follow a star, or find my heart if its not there

i'll take the frequent fogs, simple hellos and good byes

because if life has no definition

you are life in my eyes

and if God made it so hard to believe

that heaven is right where you stand

i understand, why you cant

repeat the footprints you've circled more than once

now you are a drifting boat

on an uncertain stream

and to you this is what life means

though i may not see, the things you see

I will remember the sky

the subtle wind that put that look in your eye

you were happy to see me, that's all i could need

there may not be a definition

but you are life to me.

Reason.

I've dreamt of higher places

then I realized

the only time you are in higher places

is when it is in your own head

so the world must be an illusion

a sneaky rendering of a fiery pit

an abstract painting painted by an insane man

who seems to be sane after-all

our senses are but nature

a veiny river that co-signs for our existence 

our reasons are reasoned

only unjustified and saturated 

we sleep to remember

we dream to forget

the un-settling sounds of the hell we've created

taking chemistry by the mouth to ease the pain

only to feel it again

because it takes you to higher places

because you can't make it alone

because you refuse to make it alone

come to reason with reason

i've finally realized that higher places are what we make of them

created by our senses, absorbed by our thoughts

carefully constructed, unintentionally hard to reach 

because we all want what we don't have, can't touch

how I once denied our intelligence 

we are intelligent after-all,

intelligent for our ignorance

End of the day thought.

we breath the same air

we've known since we came to this place

and the stars have always been too far away

but you came along and showed me the world

through the smallest opening you could find

i felt your hand touching mine

now it is time to catch another day

of leaning against you in the shade

guiding my fingers through the lines on your palms

losing myself in the words of your songs

floating, hopelessly, in circles

landing on a soft bed of metaphors and rhymes

stretch in time, your hands promise me tonight

will be the best night of my life

you've made every night

the best night

and every dream wishes to be real

to feel the way you make me feel

a thumping heart out of control, it seems

you're the only one for me.

Trees

I can't say it's the weather

or the shade of the light painted on the walls

it's not the words I miss you

or the sound of hums I crawl

its the point you reach before sleep

and the point you find waking up

when a cup of coffee is peaceful

and time alone is wearing off

when i watch a tree dancing

to the sound that nature sings

it's the feeling of warmth from far away

an acoustic memory

i could wish you here right now

to sing my breathing dreams away

then find myself buried inside

a song i could never play

as you prance the word with fossil feet my dear

these notes I'll soon be vowed

the only song i want to sing

is the song that will be now.

Appalachian Trail

Its now a time when you decide

how to reach for the knob and open doors

Now i watch you vanish for a while

I hope you find what you are searching for

I will wait here drifting softly to sleep

until i feel your arms around me once more

when the wind picks up, when the heat cools down

i hope you find what you are searching for

The greatest reason for living at all

Is to conquer all you fear

as you find your way through valleys and trees

I conquer all of my fears here

To survive with out seeing your face 

wrapping my arms around your waist...

is the hardest thing I will face...

while you are gone, the city sleeps in my eyes

until you open my door

while you are walking those dreams

I hope you find what you are searching for

i will miss you.

Stone.

A stone could sit still and never know

until the holes begin to show

but we've made it a point to follow through

sticking with only the roads we are used to

Cut your hair, change your clothes

color your skin, pierce your nose

Fall in love and fall back out

You are moving fast but stuck about

the same old block you always knew

A stone in the city with the ignorant blues

I'd Like To Hold Your Hand In Mine

I'd like to sing you a song

If I could sing you next to me

If I could sing at all

I'd sing you to sleep

I'd like to open my eyes early

so I could wake you with a smooch

I'd like to hold your hand in mine

That's what I'd like to do

I'd like to be the one you dream of

the one you snuggle,

the one you hold

I'd like to tell you are wonderful

because you are wonderful

I'd like you to hear me singing

because the notes would all be true

I'd like to hold your hand in mine

that's what I'd like to do

If you could hear me now

would you consider sharing notes?

I'd like to hear you humming along

I'd like to feel you close

Maybe I'm a bit too open

but I wouldn't be if your weren't you

I'd like to hold your hand in mine

That's what I'd like to do

Here, not Here.

As soon as the sun kisses the sky

i will follow the scent of a moving wind

take me , take me

here, not here

take me, take me

to the one I will love

pretend the present will vanish and say

go, please go away

as soon as the sun kisses the sky

the wind will pick up

I'll wave good bye

follow the scent of the places i've not been

take me

here, not here

but to the one I will love

soon enough, the stars twinkle

dimming as so...

the moon whispers

go, please...go.

Stuck.

Discover the sheets untouched
what a catastrophe
how one event
could take me far from home
i am alone
focused on focusing
focusing on anything but you
failing miserably
i'm stuck
pretending
the world is interesting
when i know
without you
it doesn't offer much
not a single touch
or kiss before bed
I could do anything but I,
I can't get you out of my head.
You're stuck
I'm stuck
without you again.

Out To Sea

I got caught sailing
without a map, without a doubt
and sure enough I landed
tied my boat and came on in
you were covered in sweat and kind words
rosey cheeks and a beard
it was dusty, it smelled
but I still thought, "I kinda like it here"
i knew before i sailed off
I'd end up some place new
and if i were to follow someones lines
Id have never found a guy like you, you, you
so I made myself at home
blew away the dust and nestled in
you cooked me breakfast in the mornings
washed your sweat, shaved your chin
and i thought as i was chewing
what really braught me here?
then you say, say, say to me, me, me
"I kinda like you here"

If You Were...

If you had wings I'd hide myself underneath them

and go everywhere you'd go

if you'd let me, I would go anywhere

I would travel to your darkest dreams

i'd fight all before me that held you down

I would follow you into the deepest oceans

touch the bottom and smile

Replace your words with air

watch the bubbles form the shape of a heart

race them to the top

If you were a jet plane

I'd make myself the engine

Roar through the skies singing

I am so happy to be your engine

i am so happy to be, any part of you

If you were mine, if you were mine

you'd be mine, all mine

and you're mine

all mine

you said to me

"you can be any part of me you want"

and i want

if you'd let me

I want to be everything..

everything you want me to be.

Throwing Stones

I've made it my

choice to pick up stones

and toss them in the river

Now I am counting stars

wondering which one will fall

so I can watch it burn

I always speak in broken english

but my patterns seem to match

close enough to make you sick

Cough, cough up everything I've said

time has told me truth

I am so sorry, I love you

To think

I may have been wise

it was all a disquise

Hands on a clock can violate

the time it took me to start

realizing, I've lost my spot in your heart

We Are Who They Were

 I pull the shades up

the sun gushes in and I am flooded with warmth

the dust glows like little angles

thousands swarming my darkest place

thousands and not a word from one

Must be all in my head

I put my shoes on , I am ready for a walk

today I am welcome

today I will be every doubt I was yesterday

kick rocks across the road

spin around at a light

smile and breath in, catch up on life

I am so warm today

I've had this feeling inside for some time

I guess the philosophers were right

Time is only time, it's only time

until we become the story told many years ago

our new stories are all old

even when the darkness has been fed

It's all in your head

maybe I am bias to proceed

these brewing thoughts inside of me

that we are all painted with the same pallet 

we are all who they were

I can see the future

I must be some kinda magic

I must be some kinda gift

I must be something special if I can believe such a thing like this

but truth is that I just followed the fossils

As I watched the clouds cleared up like they promised they would do

I just did what they did

You will too

You will too

 

Finally Time.

Ripping the fabric off of an expensive chair

make a quilt for your children dear

i think it's finally time to weather proof the windows

Fill up the kettle put it on the stove

Write a novel just to loosen that load

I'll peal the paint off the walls

It was too dark for you anyway

I'll bring the sugar if you have the cream

We'll stir counterclockwise for the sake of your dreams

they swirl together like the steam from a hot cup of water

You are the only one who speaks without speaking

While you are flying, I'm the only one sleeping

I think it's finally time to get a new mattress.

You have my words and count all of my metaphors

in a jar above the back door

They can stay because most of my thoughts, you own them

They can stay until you finally disown them.

.

The Half Moon Night

You suddenly hear the car door slamming

in the middle of a half moon night

The wind settled down just in time to here

the foot steps on the solid ground

Finally coughing up that old habit you swallowed

many years before the news hit the stands

now your focused on a new dilemma

in the palm of your new lovers hands

finding a dream used to be as easy

as finding the keys to your car

now finding a dream is finding out

you drove just a little too far

there were no street lights telling you

which turns would come first up ahead

just the half moon night

the half moon night

just the half moon night

the half moon night

Banana I will eat.

Spotted like an animal

You are sweet to change

Curvy, soft and natural

I'm in love, I'm in love.

Button Eyes

I saw you resting on the edge of my bed

Almost forgot how much I used to love you

Round button eyes, a cute little bow

Loose threads laying limp over your feet

Just like it used to be

I wonder how you'd be now

If I packed you with my music collection

and carried you around the world

would your buttons still be as kind?

Would your cotton paws hug me the same?

Would your bow still be tied tight, pretty and bright?

Would you still cuddle with me tonight?

Sing me a lullaby...

for button eyes...

Sing me those tunes we used to dance to

Pretend we are in a ball room

and you are my prince...

Button eyes

I could not bring you along

I left you where you belong

Out there, there is no time for a song

No song for a dance

Out there, there is no chance

for button eyes, for loose threads and pretty bows

Button eyes, Button nose

The things you will never know

I built you a quilted bubble

Full of sunny particles floating by like diamonds in the sky

To save those button eyes for a rainy day

Save that pretty bow for a special occasion

for the next ball room dance...for the last

Button Eyes, you watch me fading fast

but you remain the same, soft, gentle and kind

Button eyes

Button Nose

The things you'll never know.

Another's Garden

Like a cement wall

I've crashed myself into, take the pain

It is human nature to be selfish, I agree

Now the clock resets itself

blinking zero

no alarm, no night, no day

It is obvious when you feel the current

There will be no more starry nights

Alas, my heart has reached it's destination

No alarm

To fight would be silly

as to accept is an honest approach

When you plant a seed 

that never grows

then you watch it grow in another's soil

It is that time, to reset

blink zero

12 am: 12 am

I will be dreaming of my puzzle for a while

a million piece's to answer

and i've finished too soon

The True Equator

Less of a poem in poetic form

a realization more or less

a lucky guess

I was sitting in the back seat of a car

watching the sky

imagining the equator was a confused super hero

diagnosed with OCD

he just can't live without making a ring

around the only place he knows

a home

like we pace back and fourth sometimes

thinking of things we do not understand

I'd like the think the equator is just some confused man

with powers more powerful than he can comprehend

where science is just as factual as religion

but the sun has no purpose but to blind us 

heatless fires, the sun must be machine

the sky is the mantle built to settle the view

no wonder why this superman is confused

ever watch fish just swim round and round?

they know we are watching but they don't know how

round and round, the equator, it's there

we are here. I am here

In the backseat of a car

riding on the same roads I've been on before

making my rounds, circling round

too much time to think. too much.

Prayer and Vitamins

The lines are said over and over again

His voice unheard yet, you hear it

A lie is told, so brave, so bold

A sickness but you can't cure it

You cough the medicine

You sneeze the truth

God bless you, God bless you

I do, or, you do?

The bed time story for the emptiness and tired

A riddle that spits such lies leaves most inspired

An obvious cure so hard to obtain

You choke on prayer and vitamins

God bless you, God bless you

Never Scream

Not alike

more...

subtle like a lion in a thorn bush

frightened? apparently

calm in the ways that I am bleeding

but not screaming, not a sound from me

I should scream and notify my surrounding that I'm bleeding

but I will drown before I admit it

the death of me

will be

probably

the quiet way of pretending I have not fallen

or scraped my knees on the glass i've dropped

still scattered around

reflecting every movement i make

thought it sparkles in the moonlight 

like diamonds, it is beautiful

but I wont scream

I hope you understand